Cultivating a Lasting Relationship

“My experience as a Family Mediator has taught me that in committed relationships, the presence or absence of specific critical actions can profoundly influence the relationship’s health. These actions, or the lack thereof, can initiate a cascade of negative emotions and stages, from frustration and resentment to diminished respect and dwindling love.”

Throughout my years as an Accredited family mediator and legal expert, I’ve had the unique vantage point of sitting in boardrooms, observing divorcing couples as they communicate—often without barriers. This raw, unfiltered interaction has laid bare the reasons for the gradual, yet inevitable, erosion of respect and love that signals the demise of their relationship. It’s a stark reminder of how easily the foundational elements of a partnership can crumble under the weight of neglect and misunderstanding.

Drawing from this profound experience, I have identified crucial acts in relationships—practical, real-life behaviours and practices I’ve witnessed firsthand in various scenarios, either individually or in combination. These are not abstract theories but tangible actions that I’ve seen impact relationships for better or worse. This collection of insights forms the core of my approach to fostering a positive, lasting relationship.

My objective is to share these insights with you, not just as concepts to understand but as actions to embody and live by. Whether you’re navigating the early stages of a relationship or seeking to deepen an existing bond, these principles offer a pathway to cultivate respect, understanding, and ultimately, enduring love. It’s a testament to the belief that with the right focus and dedication, anyone can work towards a relationship that not only survives but thrives.

This book is for everyone, regardless of age, sexual orientation, or stage in life, divorced or married, single or seeking.

[illustrations by: Deon Hanns]